You can know you are ready to adopt when:
1) You don’t have a need for a child but a desire to provide parenting to a child whose parents cannot.
2) You are willing to keep an historical and relational connection to a child’s biological family without conditions. Getting a copy of the original birth certificate is mandatory and can be accomplished at the time of adoption.
3) You recognize the child as an individual whose DNA and biology will not match yours but understand they deserve love as all children do.
4) You are willing to be second. An adopted child has first parents. God loves the first parents as much as He loves the second. Adoption embraces human design not God’s design.
5) Most importantly!!! Love is not enough. Is love required? Absolutely, but as human beings, the love offered falls far short of what will conquer feelings when behaviors become overwhelming, when rejection seems to be all that is offered, when a child whose life was enhanced by being provided a family doesn’t seem “grateful” enough.
Preparation for adoption requires emotional and mental stability that can withstand normal upsets magnified a hundred times. Adoption brings a set of challenges that add a layer of unknown, unfamiliar, unattached feelings. Adoption requires in depth, ongoing support and resources. Adoption hardly represents the wonderful world of an optional way to create a family; “the new pregnant;” or getting a brother or sister for an already existing family.
Remember the old adage “if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is”? I would suggest adoption falls into that category. Is adoption a wonderful option for a child who has no family willing or able to raise them, indeed! Legislation must be designed and implemented to allow adoptees to obtain their original birth certificate with “required” accurate information at the age of majority. No reason exists for an American citizen to be denied their original birth certificate into perpetuity.
Read and be informed on all the issues in adoption. One reason for failed adoptions and unhappy adoptive situations is because the information was lacking and decisions made about adopting were founded on that information. Be wary of the “wonderful” stories and testimonies on adoption sites and the “happily-ever-after” testimonies by agencies or adoption agents who profit from making adoptions happen.
I couldn’t agree more. Love is not enough. Adoption commits an act of trauma upon an innocent child, and nobody can heal trauma by denying that it exists. This emotional trauma interferes with the ability to accept, receive, and return love from others, and adopters need to understand this.